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Socks

December 7th, 2015

Photos

My actual 50 year old foot (this is not a 20-something foot model's foot)  - a product of decent socks.
They come in grey or black.
They come in grey or black.

Socks are one of life’s essentials.  They should be, anyway.

The right sock can minimize any number of foot issues including, but not limited to: hammer toes, ingrown toenails, toenail fungus, toe jam, bunions, corns, smelly feet, ugly feet, flat feet, duck feet, and smelly shoes.  I submit my nearly pristine 50 year old foot that doesn’t look a day over 20 (see picture at left), as an example of what can happen when you purchase and wear decent socks.

Finding the right sock, however, is not as easy as one would think.  Some sock makers put more love into their socks than others, and to further complicate matters – not every foot is the same. 

And then there’s the price issue.  $8 seems to be the norm for “quality” running/cycling socks.  I consider $8 my upper threshold for a sock purchase.  I borrowed a pair of $25 dollar socks (seriously) from a friend, and returned them two days later, with a hole in the toe, and a 10 dollar bill (and subsequently, 15 dollars more).  In my experience, $25 dollar socks are no better than $8 socks, and $8 is a lot to spend on a pair of socks.

Similarly, a $1 sock is not nearly as good as an $8 sock.  They don’t last more than a couple months, and they retain foot smell, which eventually stinks up your shoes.  This said, there are decent options for less than $8, but as I mentioned earlier, they’re tough to find.

Lucky for you, I’ve spent the last 32 years searching the world for a worthy sock - one that’s both durable and reasonably priced. Along the way I’ve come across a few decent socks (obvious – based on my beautiful foot photo), but until recently, nothing that I’ve been willing to commit to.

Earlier this year, after hearing about my long and somewhat fruitless search for the perfect sock, Andrew Block, of Beaker Concepts, suggested I give his stockings a ride.  Considering the depth of my search, I was understandably skeptical about his confident claims regarding the awesomeness of his socks.  I’m happy to say, however, that Andrew’s confidence was justified.

Since April, I’ve been running these bad-boys through my rigorous quality control tests.  Trust me, no sock wants any part of this process.  Here’s a brief description of my protocol (Warning: graphic descriptions):  First, I refrain from clipping my toenails for at least two months. Then I wear the same pair of socks all day and all night for one week straight.  I don’t remove the socks for any reason (as an aside: it’s virtually impossible to wash your feet while wearing socks).

To make a long and gruesome story short – Andrew’s socks are the first ones to ever last longer than five days before my Raptor-like toenails burst through the front of the socks, or the stench became unbearable (whichever happened first).

Andrew’s socks received high marks in all areas including: toe-hole resiliency, stenchlessness (above and beyond normal foot funk), blister proofness, and comfortability.

Finally - a sock that has a good combination of durability and affordability.  I’m so impressed with these socks that I bought quite a few pairs and literally put my name on them.  To help you and your feet start the New Year off on the right foot (no pun intended), I’m offering a limited number of socks for $5.50 per pair (plus $2 for shipping), or three pair for $13.75 (plus $2 for shipping).

They come in two colors: grey or black, and two sizes: small/medium which will fit women, children, and men with small feet (just say they’re for your wife or kids), and large/extra-large which fit men with feet larger than size 10, and Sasquatch-like women (just say they’re for your husband).

If you’re interested, email me with color preference (you can mix and match), sizes, quantity and mailing address, and I’ll shoot you payment information and an invoice.

The “store” will close on Monday, December 21st, or when I’m out of socks - whichever happens first.  Grab a pair while they last.

Your feet will thank you!

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